


Give Me A Calender Guy

by Magicandmalice



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Awesome Darcy, Kinda Fluffy, M/M, Photographer Loki, fireman thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 12:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8624227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicandmalice/pseuds/Magicandmalice
Summary: “You're fucking kidding me right? That is who they want us to use in the charity calendar? That is not a man, that is a bronzed God that will give the buyers heart failure!” Loki gasped as he saw the man he was there to photograph today.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fourletterwordsstartingwithl (hiddleston_loki_lover_au)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddleston_loki_lover_au/gifts).



> Happy Birthday to my sweet Fourletterwordsstartingwithl I hope you enjoy it :)

“You're fucking kidding me right? That is who they want us to use in the charity calendar? That is not a man, that is a bronzed God that will give the buyers heart failure!” Loki gasped as he saw the man he was there to photograph today. 

“Well I asked for a few of the best Firemen they had and was told that this guy was all for it and the best looking one in the county. I can see why,” Darcy said as she fanned herself. She was getting paid to look at this man all day and maybe oil him up if she was lucky, she loved her job sometimes.

“He was all they had?” Loki asked, eyes following the muscular blond with gorgeous eyes and a killer smile. The camera was going to love him that was for sure, though Loki almost choked on his breath when the man turned around.

“Look at that ass...Loki I swear to all that is Holy if you do not make him bend over at least once during this shoot I will never make you coffee again.” Darcy breathed.

“Once? Hell I might not even let him up.” Loki rasped, this guy was going to kill him and Loki wouldn't even care. 

Loki and Darcy jumped and turned to each other as the blond’s friend pointed Loki and Darcy out to him. The blond smiled even brighter if that was possible and started making his way over to them.

“Hi my name is Thor, you must be Loki and Darcy, nice to meet you both.” Thor said offering his hand to shake. 

“Let me get this straight, you are a Fireman, good looking and well mannered?” Darcy asked taking his hand before Loki could. 

“I suppose so…” Thor responded hesitantly.

“Are you single? Or am I to late to ask you out?” Darcy inquired, this was way too good to be true, no way he would be single as well.

“As it just so happens I am indeed single.” Thor laughed.

“So, interested in getting dinner after the shoot?” 

“Are we done? I don't have all day to get these pictures done.” Loki finally cut in, a little irked that Darcy had beat him to the punch but he was used to it by now. He hired Darcy because of her take no shit attitude and confidence, she was the best assistant he had ever had. She also managed to cock block him so many times he was ready to strangle her. Knowing it was rude, and not really caring at this point, he turned and walked over to the equipment already set up and waiting.

“My apologies Miss Darcy, but even one so lovely and bold as you are is not quite my type.” Thor said gently as he extracted his hand from her grip. She was a strong little thing and seemed rather feisty, she would surely be a blast to hang out with as friends one night he was sure. Turning he followed after the one named Loki flashing a wicked smile to the girl still at his side.

“Your friend, on the other hand, is just my type.” Thor whispered just before they got within hearing range, laughing at the wide smile that broke out over Darcy’s face.

“That is very good to know Thor.” Darcy said.

“Oh?”

“At least one of us has a chance.” Darcy murmured as she passed the blond and came to stand beside Loki.

Loki just shot her a brief glare before he turned to Thor fully. “You were informed ahead of time just what kind of photo’s we will be taking correct? All we need is you in the costume and poses with some props, the green screen will do the backgrounds for you.”

“Yeah, I have no problem showing a bit of skin for a good cause, and it’s not like I will be completely nude of anything. Besides it’s for a good cause so it’s all good.” Thor replied.

“Alright, since we have no one else that showed up, are you up for doing something for all twelve months?” Loki asked.

“I’m game. I get three days off for doing this, so I am all yours beautiful, where do you want me?” Thor asked, delighted at the sudden flush over Loki’s pale cheeks.

“D-Darcy let’s start with January and go from there, let me know when you are ready.” Loki choked and turned to check his camera, forcibly ignoring the other two nearby as he tried to get himself back under control.

Darcy giggled before dragging Thor over to the wardrobe area, it was always nice when they could do a photoshoot in their own studio, made things so much easier on them. Digging around she pulled out the outfit for New Year’s Eve theme, eyeing Thor up a bit before grinning wickedly at the large man.

“This might end up being a bit more skimpy than planned, you’re a bit bigger than our usual models.” Darcy said handing the clothing over.

Looking at the outfit in his hands Thor laughed loudly as he realized just what she meant by that. Well no problem with him, “Let’s get started.”

************

Loki wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to able to function in this situation. Each themed outfit was becoming more and more skimpy with each month as they went on. He was sure Darcy and Thor were doing it deliberately, but with argument of ‘Well it didn’t fit right’ he couldn’t exactly call them out on it. But each month was getting worse and worse, starting with January’s Happy New Year, Thor standing there in nothing but a pair of black slacks, an unbuttoned shirt, a little glittery green New Year’s cone on his head,his lips wrapped around a bottle of champagne, and confetti in his hair and several places of his body. 

February had him shirtless, a red ribbon tied around his neck with a box of chocolate in one hand and a giant teddy bear in the other. March and he was standing there with a shit eating grin wearing a too tight green shirt with the words Kiss Me I'm Irish and green kiss marks over his cheek and neck and a mug of green beer in hand.

April had him wearing a pair of fluffy, tan bunny ears and a cotton tail on his jeans as he knelt on the ground, holding an Easter basket and brightly colored little plastic Easter eggs. May and he was found lying on the green screen with a bunch of silk spring flowers surrounding him, hands above his head and ankles crossed as he made it look as if he was napping in the Spring sun.

June and he was reclining on a beach chair, damp from the mist Darcy had sprayed over him. Tiny bright blue swim trunks and glasses was all he wore in the new summer sun. July had them all laughing at the crooked little red white and blue top hat and matching briefs. A blue frosted cake with smeared red and white lettering saying Happy Fourth, his fingers covered in frosting that he licked off. 

August let Thor stand in front of a grill, his apron reading “kiss the cook”, a beer in one hand and a spatula in the other. All of them laughing at the look but going with it since they could do nothing better for such a boring month.

September almost broke Loki though, as professor Thor held a ruler at his hip and bit into an apple, eyes laughing behind black rimmed glasses.

October and November went from sexy Halloween firefighter costume to kneeling in a pile of autumn colored leaves and tossing them in the air to rain back down on him. 

“Alright I am out of film and it's late. We have two choices the way I see it. We can all go home and pick this up tomorrow or Darcy can go grab us some food and I will run to my supplies room and grab some more film and we can finish this tonight. All we have left is December anyway.” Loki said as he set his camera down. He needed a break before he said to hell with it and jumped Thor right then and there.

“I'm used to working long hours so I’m good to go longer if you two want to finish up tonight.” Thor said removing a stray red leaf from his hair from the last round of photos.

“Dinner sounds good, go grab your film, I will figure out something for the December photos and grab food once you're back here.” Darcy said shooing Loki away.

“I thought I was the boss.” Loki laughed as he was pushed out. 

“That's because I let you think that, now go on. I want gyros and you are delaying me from getting them.” Darcy ordered.

“Yes Mistress,” Loki said as he left.

“Finally. Alright so here is the plan Thor.”

“Plan?” 

“Yes pay attention please. The eye fucking between the two of you is like over 9000!” Darcy said.

“What?” Thor will admit to being a bit confused on that comment.

“Never mind, anyway I am going to make like a good wingman and make myself scarce for the night. You two can either keep working… or maybe do something a bit more fun than work.” Darcy suggested. 

“Wait, you're trying to hook Loki and I up? I though…” 

“That I wanted you? Well yeah, but you're not interested in me. You are however interested in the boss man and trust me he is totally returning that interest. Loki is my best bud and I like to see him happy, but don't tell him I said that!” Darcy explained. 

“I can tell you mean well Darcy, but why don't you let me do this on my own.” Thor said.

“But…”

“Go on, I will tell him you left to go get dinner, in the meantime I will get something together for the last photo.” Thor said with a wicked smile.

“Fine, but you better not disappoint me mister. Night.” Darcy said after a few moments. She wanted to meddle but supposed she should relent some. After all, she didn't want to scare the guy off before Loki had a chance to seduce him.

Waving, she headed out to go get her gyros, at least she was getting something out of this cause she was totally charging it to Loki.

*******  
Looking over all the costumes and props that remained, Thor began putting something together that would have Loki unable to hide his interest in Thor if he really did have some as Darcy said. His eyes lighting up at the bolt of red and gold silk cloth he came across, oh this would do nicely indeed.

Working quickly Thor dragged a large gold coloured blanket in front of the green screen before he stripped down to nothing. Wrapping the red and gold will around his hips several times before thing it off in a large bow with trailing streamers. Grabbing one of the plastic candy canes he laid down on the blanket and arranged himself in what he hoped was an appealing pose and brought the plastic to his mouth. Just in time too as Loki walked through the doorway, fiddling with his camera.

“Sorry that took so long guys, my film had been moved from its usual spot and....” Loki stopped mid step as he looked up and saw Thor spread out on the blanket.

“Do you think this will work for the Christmas set?” Thor purred as he looked at the brunette with the best bedroom eyes he could pull off. 

Loki tried, he honestly and truly tried, but he was only human and when met with such a sight, he did what any other weak willed man would do. He laughed. He laughed until he had tears in his eyes and was bracing himself on his knees to stay standing. When he finally got control of himself he looked back at Thor and bit his tongue to keep from losing his shit again. 

Poor Thor sat there, no longer sprawled over the blanket, but had sat up and drawn himself in with arms around his legs and the most adorable look of confusion on his face. Loki actually felt bad for the laughter now, he had not meant to upset Thor, but he had been unable to help it.

“I apologize Thor, I meant no offense honestly. You would be a lovely and precious gift for anyone to unwrap on Christmas. But I think for this particular photo shoot we should do something a little bit more subtle, we wouldn't want any of the calendar purchasers getting too many ideas now would we? But I would hate to waste all the effort you put into this particular look so why don't you stay just like that and I'll get a few for my Personal Collection.

By the way I wouldn't let Darcy see you like that you might not make it out tonight alive.” Loki said as he took the last few steps forward, stopping only when the toes of his shiny black shoes touched the edge of the golden blanket. “Now if you're still up for it lie back down Thor and let's make this photo set some fun.”

“Darcy will not be returning tonight. She thought you and I might like to do some photos alone. Said something about the tension driving her crazy and I can't say I disagree.” Thor said as he resumed his previous position.

Loki made himself a mental note to do something nice for Darcy later. 

*******

Looking down at the sight at her feet, Darcy couldn't help the huge smile that spread over her face. Grabbing her phone she took a few quick pictures before sneaking back out the way she had come in and locking up behind her. Loki would thank her for the pictures later she was sure, Darcy thought as she stared down at her phone's screen. 

Loki was asleep with his head pillowed on Thor’s abs, face turned towards Thor as if he had fallen asleep talking to the blond. His shirt wrinkled and bunched uncomfortably, she was sure, around his ribs. Pants a mess of wrinkles as well and shoes kicked off to the side.

Thor had the fingers of one hand tangled in Loki’s soft black hair, it looked like he had been petting him during their talk before they had fallen asleep. He was wearing Santa pants and a hat that was only half on by that point, his long hair a mess of tangles. The two looked rather cute on that ugly gold blanket, surrounded by a mostly empty bottle of wine and a half eaten platter of meat and cheeses from the restaurant down the street. 

Well it wasn't the outcome she had that it would be, but if the soft little smile Loki wore was any indication, he had enjoyed himself last night and that was what mattered. Besides that rather possessive hold Thor had on Loki said very clearly he wasn't going anywhere for a long while


End file.
